back to Surat!!

At Heathrow airport, an announcement goes out over the Public Address System: 'Mr.Rand Chod Kar Sandaas ! Mr. Rand Chod Kar Sandaas - please report to Reception'.

Ranchhodbhai Karsandas, who has just arrived ex Surat, goes red with anger. He goes to the reception, and shouts loudly to the English receptionist.

The following conversation must go into history books of cock-ups:

Ranchhodbhai: 'Madar Chod ! I am Ranchhod........ '

Receptionist: 'Mr. Madar Chod Rand Chod ? Sir, that is not the name I have here.. I have Mr. Rand Chod Kar Sandaas.........'

Ranchhodbhai: 'Arrey Bhenchod, I am NOT Madar chod !!!'

Receptionist: 'So are you Mr. R.A. Ben or Mr. R.A. Chod ? Is your surname Ben or Chod ?'

Ranchhodbhai: (now really really pissed) 'Chootia taari ! I am Ranchhod........'

Receptionist: 'Excellent sir, so who is Chootia Tari then ???'

Whenupon a Chinese guy turns up at the Reception and says: 'Were you calling me ?'

Receptionist: 'Who are you?'

Chinese Guy: 'I am Choo Tia.....'

Whereupon Ranchhodbhai decides to fly back to Surat!!!

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A little Rubbing

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.......

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me.... young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!